Bitcoin: The Cryptocurrency of the Future


The office Christmas party was more fun than I anticipated. My coworkers can really cut loose after hours! We did have to ask Tom in Accounting to go home early after he got drunk, hit on the boss' wife, and threw up in the Keurig. 

He should probably be fired, but I think we'll see him on Monday. We needed a new coffee maker anyway. The white elephant gift exchange was probably the low point. Pretty disappointing. I bought a package of like 50 Silly Bandz. Hilarious. And what gift did I end up with? $25 worth of something called Bitcoin. Kevin in IT says that's like 30 Bitcoin, and kept saying something about cryptocurrencies and decentralization. Two very Christmas-y words. Thanks a lot, Kevin in IT. Enjoy your season-appropriate snowman mug and hot chocolate mix. 


I got an email from Kevin today with the subject line "Your Welcome!!!" with a link to an article about the rise of Bitcoin. I briefly considered replying simply *you're, but I figured I'd read the article first. And guess what? My Bitcoin is worth like 900 bucks. I should figure out how to withdraw that to my bank account. 


Finally got around to researching how to sell my Bitcoin. It's really complicated. While I was looking it up, I came across a bunch of articles on mining Bitcoin. Like, you can just generate Bitcoin using your computer. It's basically free money. Speaking of free, no one government runs Bitcoin. It's totally decentralized and I get that now. It's a currency for the people. It could be a game changer. I'm not selling, because this is really fascinating - and I still have no idea how. Plus it's basically worthless again. Oh well.


It was a pretty good day today. I didn't lose my temper in traffic today and I got a promo code for a free Redbox movie. My wife is going to be so pumped when I bring home Scary Movie 5 tomorrow night.

Oh, and I ran into Kevin, who used to work with me. You remember. I never got the full story, but he said he got fired for watching too many "movies" at the office. He did finger quotes around the word "movies" and everything. I guess that means porn? Or maybe not, I guess you'd get fired for watching regular movies on the clock too. 

Moral of the story, that reminded me I should check on my Bitcoin account. I figured it was possible it could've gotten back up to $900 since last I checked. And it did. PLUS $7,000 MORE. I'm beginning to think randomly getting this gift is the smartest thing I've ever done. Sharon is telling me to sell. I'm telling her the Winklevoss twins are investing in this now, and that's good enough for me. I think we should actually buy more, but it's not worth the argument. It's also not worth figuring out exactly how to do that. 


Holy @*$#, diary. I was skimming Twitter and everyone was talking about the value of Bitcoin. Mine are worth like a half million dollars. If my ex-wife and I were still talking I would rub this all the way in her face.

It's tempting, but I'm not going to sell. They're saying this is a bubble. And that bubbles burst. But this isn't a bubble, this is Bitcoin. And I understand it more than these analysts do. Everything except for what the plural of Bitcoin is. Bitcoin? Bitcoins? Or maybe it's both. Like how you can drink 3 beers or drink lots of beer. Either way, when President Trump (I still can't believe that's a thing) ends up destroying the world, and traditional currencies become worthless, people with digital money like me are going to be kings. 


I hate to say it, but I was right. Trump really screwed the pooch. Which I know is a super casual way to talk about a major economic collapse and escalating war with China. They did not like it when we bombed N. Korea. 

The value of the dollar, heck even the euro, is dropping faster than anyone imagined. Anyone except the Winklevoss twins and me. Bitcoin is global and has never been stronger. It's kind of nice. You wouldn't think 30 of anything could go far. But it really does. It's like that unexplained gold-coin economy in John Wick where you can buy a drink for one coin--but also hire an entire cleaning crew for like four of them. Anyway, thoughts and prayers for all of those struggling to eat and pay bills tonight.


This is one of those rare moments when I'm glad Sharon left me. She would have some words for me right now. Full-blown nuclear war has not been kind on the infrastructure propping up the internet. Not kind at all. There's no possible way to access my, or anybody's, Bitcoin. You'd think there would have been a plan for this. Surely there's a way to keep digital currency alive without phones or internet. There's not. Darn the Winklevoss twins. Darn them. 

Guns and bullets are the only worthwhile currency now. Wouldn't that have been a great white elephant gift. 


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