Study Finds Ethiopia Completely Unaffected by Global Economic Meltdown

WASHINGTON – As the financial markets continue to struggle in the United States and Europe tries to work out a deal to save entire countries from going bankrupt, there are still parts of the world that are not feeling the pain. Amidst the devastation, a new study shows that Ethiopia actually has improved its economic standing from last place to second to last (sorry Burundi).

In reaction to the findings, Girma Zenawi, Ethiopian Minister of Economics and third grade teacher, stated that he is “very proud of all of his fellow Ethiopians and their hard work.” He believes that “[Ethiopia] can continue to grow at prosper…unless it doesn’t rain at least 4 times a week. Then we will not be able to grow our crops and will most likely all starve. But at least I can promise my people our stock market will never drop 200.”

The study conducted by The Washington Fancy was designed to find the countries least affected by the financial crisis based on several criteria. One was the average drop in 401(k) values per capita. While most countries are still recovering from 40% losses, Ethiopians lost nothing on average. Several respondents were so comfortable that their 401(k) investments were safe that they pretended to not even know what 401(K) meant.

For more data, Ethiopians were asked questions about their income levels. In one typical example a resident was asked how much net income he plans on earning this year.

“All of it.”

After The Fancy realized he meant all of his income comes from catching fish in a net they clarified they meant money.

“Oh, none of it.”

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