The Hardest Thing I’ve Ever Had to Do

It was the first Sunday in weeks where I had nothing on my schedule. No clients emailing or bosses calling. Not even any friends looking to hang out—which is sometimes sad, but this was not one of those times. What’s a guy to do with that kind of freedom? The kind of freedom that would make my elementary-school-self claim boredom. And the mother-of-that-same-self exclaim “go outside!”

I would not be going outside today. That much is clear. It’s almost as clear as the sky is outside. Of course I can’t see outside, but that’s what I inferred from the sunlight that did it’s best to wake me up at nine. It didn’t succeed until eleven—I guess it couldn’t hurt to start my day off early. But where to start? Cold pizza and leftover birthday cake is an easy choice for breakfast. My roommate likely won’t mind; he’s a year older now which I imagine brings with it patience and understanding. The hardest choices would come much later. Long after I finish not taking a shower.

What to wear? That’s not the hard part either. I was already wearing a t-shirt and boxer briefs. As long as my blinds aren’t open, that should be good for the day. Even if the blinds are open, I was pretty committed to the ensemble. I opened up my laptop and checked my email. I keep my inbox at zero, like an adult. I checked Facebook and Twitter. Then Twitter and Facebook. Then my email again before switching over to Netflix.

It was the perfect day for a movie or five. All I had to do was find something to watch. I started where any red blooded American would, by checking the recently added queue. An indie dramedy caught my eye. But, was I really in the mood for that right now? I would rather watch something a little more light-hearted to start, probably. I checked out the comedies. There were a couple I could’ve gotten into, but I needed to check with Rotten Tomatoes first. I wouldn’t have wanted to waste my precious time with a low rated movie. 26%? Good thing I checked. There was one at 60% which could’ve been enjoyable. There was probably a cool, outlandish action movie that could beat that. If the Rock was in something, I’d watch that. Something like Hercules could be fun. I heard it was pretty bad though.  

Maybe I should binge a TV show instead. That way I could be set for the whole day, and not just for 2 hours before starting this process all over again. What haven’t I seen yet? Or maybe I want to re-watch something. I never finished Weeds! I could watch Weeds. Why didn’t I finish Weeds? Oh, I got bored with Weeds. What else is there? There are a couple I could get into, but I promised my girlfriend I’d watch them with her. She’d get so mad if I started without her. We’ll probably never get around to it, but still, I couldn’t do that.

Maybe I am in the mood for that dramedy.

No. Hercules is the safe bet. At the very least it has a big budget for cool special effects.

What am I doing? I don’t even like big budget movies. Unless they have stars and wars in them. Even then, I only like them 60% of the time.

I’ll watch Hercules. It’s fine. It’ll be fun. It’s the Rock! I’ll click play right after I get some popcorn and pour myself a drink. I’m kind of tired though. Maybe something I’ve already seen would be better than Hercules, so I don’t feel bad when I fall asleep. It’s already 11pm. Where did the time go? I only have time for a TV show now. I’ll just watch Psych and fall asleep.

Maybe I’ll just fall asleep.


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